Livin’ in Oblivion or Common Discourtesy? You Make the Call

On my way home this evening, I had several experiences that made me realize the increasing number of people who are either living in something akin to a heroin fueled trip in which they are oblivious to everything and everyone around them and are unable to focus on anything but themselves and their actions, or, in the alternative, these individuals are completely aware of others, and are so egotistical that the well being of others is squashed underfoot like an annoying bug that they have not even a pittance of feeling for. I left work and traveled through the adjacent hospital parking lot which I do night after night. As I entered the thoroughfare of the hospital parking lot, I found myself traveling behind someone who would be going backwards if they were traveling any slower. As I felt my anger build over having to drive behind this person at this abnormally slow pace, and being unable to pass, I became exponentially infuriated when they came to a complete stop, and just sat in the middle of the road. The people had what appeared to be a fully functional review mirror and side view mirrors, so I know darn well they were able to see me. But did they move for five, then ten, then twenty agonizing seconds? Absolutely not. Is it really that hard to realize that hey, you are not the only driver on the road? This is not that bizarre Twilight Zone episode where everyone has disappeared from the face of the earth. Just admit that you don’t know where the hell you are going, move over to the side or find a parking place and discuss with your equally oblivious traveling companion the complexities of the hospital parking lot, and let the rest of us get home before it is time to turn around and come back to work. The car’s driver finally came to a conclusion as to how to most effectively get to their desired destination and let me pass.

I then had to stop for some groceries, and was again perturbed by the irreverent behavior of a fellow shopper. I was having a very successful and pleasant shopping trip, had selected whatever it was I needed on the aisle and made my way to the end of the aisle to continue with my positive shopping mojo. I ran into a veritable shopping roadblock when another purchaser of consumer products stopped their shopping cart right in the middle of the end of the aisle, preventing my passage on either side. They then began to pick up their selection from the opposite side of the aisle. Instead of bringing to their attention that they were blocking me in, I chose to pretend I was in deep contemplation about whether to purchase creamed or whole kernel corn that was stacked on the other side of the aisle, figuring they would quickly make their selection and then move along allowing me to continue on my way. The guy then looked right at me thereby providing irrefutable evidence that he was aware of my existence, and then without experiencing the smallest morsel of remorse, he had the audacity to leave his cart in its inconvenient placement and walked down the aisle some 20 yards away from his cart and picked up other items. I immediately began to wish upon a star that my shopping cart had destructive blades sticking out of its side like an ancient Roman chariot, with which I could run down the side of my enemies cart, thereby eviscerating his inconveniently-placed buggy and spilling its precious cargo to the floor. But instead, I waited for the butthead to come back to his cart, move it out of the way, and then nod gratefully to him all the while casting a hex upon him that the avocado in his cart was overripe and was as dark inside as his heart.

After picking up the rest of my purchases, and successfully making it through the checkout line without experiencing any further major annoyances, I headed to my car. As soon as I approached my car, two young individuals in their early twenties sauntered over to me and the older one of the two, in full view of his loyal sidekick, asked for some spare change to buy something to smoke/snort/inject…err, I mean eat. I reached into my pocket and handed him all the change I had on my person, which was a grand total of approximately seventy-five cents. They then moved onto a gentlemen parked diagonally from me, and began solicitation him for donations. As soon as I had finished putting my purchases in my trunk, the young man who had not asked me for money came over to me and asked if I had any spare change. Hello? Were you not standing right here a second ago when your friend asked me for money, and I gave him what I had? Oh yeah, sure, I have change left young man. I purposefully gave your friend everything I had but held one nickel in reserve in case you were to come back and ask me for change. You know, if you paid as much attention in school as you have demonstrated this evening, I can totally understand why you are out here begging for money. I then told him I had just given his friend all the money I had in a tone of voice that implied compassion for his obviously diminished mental capacity and yet at the same time expressed my inward feelings of “pay attention to what is going on stupid!” I then got in my car and for a split second exacted my mental revenge by fantasizing about driving on a one lane road going five miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone in front of the individuals I had encountered this evening, reveling in the cacophony of honking horns and the flying expletives of the drivers behind me whose lips were covered with the spittle of their fury. Maybe someday.