What Is Going On With A&E?

So I was watching the show Intervention on A&E, a network which really does have some pretty solid programming, but does have its share of questionable products as well. During one commercial session, when A&E often shows commercials about its own shows, there appeared on the screen yet another TV show has-been they are trying to throw back into the limelight. There on the screen, burning my retinas, was the face of one TV personality I never had any desire to see again: Bob Saget. Apparently, the show, which is hosted by Mr. Saget, is called Strange Days with Bob Saget (because these yahoos always have to put their name in the title) and was touted as a reality show where good ol’ Bob “immerses himself in strange cultures, practices and occupations”. You can stick him in a show like this with an edgy name like Strange Days, but to me he will always be Danny Tanner or even worse, the host of America’s Funniest Videos, where he stood out there and regurgitated the lamest ass jokes I have ever heard in my whole life. For those of you out there that want to argue he is really funny, and he did not write his own jokes on the show, then that means he had absolutely no respect for himself to get out there and spew out bad joke after bad joke just to be on television. As I was watching the commercial, they ran through several of Bob’s adventures into the underbelly of America’s most interesting subcultures. The first was the hardcore biker. Ok, I could buy this until I saw on the website for the show a picture for this episode. I will tell you, nothing says hardcore biker like Bob Saget, with 1940’s goggles plastered across his goofy melon, sitting in a sidecar. The sad thing is that I don’t think this was supposed to be a joke, and some producer (it’s always the guys with the money) thought this would be a good picture to use. The only way this would have been any more ridiculous (and as a result much less hardcore biker) would have been for Mr. Saget to have been sitting on the motorcycle behind the same surly biker with his arms wrapped tightly around his waist laughing like a 12-year old girl.

In all fairness I have heard from many a Saget lover that his stand up comedy is not anything like Full House and AFV, and is quite edgy. Well then, let’s take a look at mister wild and crazy’s upcoming episodes form the commercial. The other topics presented on the commercial were Bob experiencing the fraternity life: may be interesting; Big Foot Hunting: getting dangerously close to nerd alert, I’m 35 and live with my parents in the basement status; and the cu de gras, Summer Campers: OK, this has just reached WTF status. Summer campers? Seriously? Oh yeah, watch in awe and gasp in amazement as Bob Saget is immersed in the CRAZY world of arts and crafts time, campfire sing alongs, canoeing and the ultimate in wild living: nature hikes. Hey, you dirty hippies that are getting all hyped up (probably the same people from my last blog who abhor grocery stores), I enjoy nature and the outdoors as much as the next guy, but let’s not make more out of it than it is. If summer campers was what they picked to make the season, what did they turn down? Bob goes to barber school? How about Bob at the library? I know they have to have enough shows to make a whole season, but if they have already scraped the bottom of the barrel with summer campers on the first season, Bob better call up Mary Kate and Ashley for a reunion show if he wants to have a gig next year. This has not been A&E’s first foray into the “let’s make something old new again” reality arena. They had the Two Corey’s (about Corey Feldman and Corey Haim), Lawman with Steven Segall (OK, some would say you have to have been someone in the first place to be a has-been, but let’s not be too cruel), and of course Tony Danza as a high school teacher (because he hasn‘t had his 15 minutes of fame 4 times over). It seems that A&E has become a veritable has-been’s haven. In light of this network’s inability to match Strange Days with a more fitting host, I present my top four mismatched shows and has-been hosts:

#4 Paul Rubens (Pee Wee Herman if that helps) guest stars on Intervention to help a chronic exhibitionist.

#3 Natural Non-Surgical Beauty Tricks with Joan Rivers

#2 House Hunters with new host Randy Quaid and insignificant other

#1 Romper Room 2010 with Gary Glitter* (* all segments with Mr. Glitter were shot at least 200 yards away from the children per condition of his parole)