Payroll Cashin’ Meets Tax Code Bashin’

With less than two weeks left before April 15, 2011, many American citizens are beginning to experience the first pangs of anxiety related to their unfinished taxes. They are easy to spot: slovenly procrastinators feverishly looking through folders for old donation receipts, wondering if any valuable tax forms were thrown away with what they believed was junk mail and knowing, just knowing, this year they are going to be facing a “tax due” bill that they can’t pay because little Suzy was begrudgingly forced into ballet and gymnastics by her parents in a feeble attempt to keep Suzy on pace with the Jones children, was adorned with braces (on her baby teeth no less) and was outfitted in the finest designer clothing made for 7 year olds when she would have been just as happy with the modest garment offerings available from any number of discount clothing stores. This torturous two weeks of anxious behavior, fear and worry is the closest equivalent experience adults have to the elementary school child’s “pee pee” dance. It was on my way home today that I saw a new offering for those still in need of tax preparation services. Just when I believed nothing could further damage the American financial institution’s already threadbare moral fabric, a sign outside one of those paycheck cashing/payday loan places was gloriously displayed in banner form across their marquee indicating that they now offered tax preparation. When did this happen? I understand that companies are struggling to make money in the current economic downturn (heck, I even addressed it in my last post. One’s own blog shamelessly plugged by oneself…check), and are trying to offer more and more services to attract customers, but just because you give people money for their paychecks does not mean you are now qualified to start acting like a full-service financial firm . I mean, I cut my steak with a knife at home, but that does not entitle me to hang a shingle off my apartment balcony touting my services as some sort of rouge home based discount slaughterhouse, skirting the stringent regulations of the FDA. In all actuality, I am sure they have licensed tax preparers, but for me these establishments still have remaining credibility issues that would cause me to steer away from them for such services.

For one, has anyone noticed the layout of these places. The one in nearest proximity to my residence contains two chairs, the counter and a solitary computer. Then there is the ominous looking door serving as a passageway to the sacred “back room” where I am certain financial malpractice is being engaged in by slide rule wielding, green visor wearing evil book keepers who are laughing maniacally as they engage in book doctoring, false employee tax reporting and all other manner of monetary mayhem. The mere physical arrangement of the establishment gives an appearance that they are half-expecting some type of raid by the FBI, and with all of the businesses belongings practically being able to fit into the back of a sub-compact car, they have the ability to…POOF!….disappear as if they never existed like some type of other-worldly accounting apparition.

The second thing that makes me question these places’ credibility is their obvious disregard for their customers' financial well-being as evidenced by their exorbitant fees. I understand you are a company providing a service, and the customer has the choice of utilizing your services, but to take a person who is obviously in a difficult financial position and tightening the screws even further by charging interest on the level of the interest charged by mob-related bookies on outstanding gambling debts, then maybe you need to do some gross tuning of your moral compass.

My most concerning issue arose when I saw two other signs that said “We offer refund anticipation loan checks” and “Tax check cashing for only 2%.” So let me get this straight, you prepare the taxes, you offer checks they can get in store instantly, and you offer to cash the checks for a small fee, which the client is most assuredly going to do out of convenience. Can you say conflict of interest? What this means is that the bigger refund they get you, the more money they make from their 2% fee. This arrangement is certain to lead to the most liberal tax preparation ever, and will most certainly cause you problems. I can just see how the tax preparation would go with, for example, the guy who likes to frequent the gentlemen’s club, “Well, let’s see, when we were talking earlier you asked if you can write off entertainment expenses. What did you mean?” "Err, um, like a gentlemen's club for example."  “Yes, well, you can’t exactly write off visits to the strip clubs sir, but let me ask you this: Did you have a favorite dancer who you gave a significant amount of cash to?” "Ah yes, Bubbles.  A lovely young lady working her way through college." “Well sir, I can tell you this, if you can get her last name for me, I think we just found another dependent we can claim. And you know, I think we even have a double dip opportunity here. If she had any type of faucet or pipe leak, we will go ahead and write that down as you contributing to the Red Cross Flood Relief Program as well. Alrighty then, now that we are on a roll, why don’t we get the values for your donated items to charitable contributions. You tell me about those clothes you gave to Goodwill…they were all designer names and were in perfect condition, right……….”  My best advice is to seek out a reputable tax preparation company. Uncle Sam already sticks it to you in taxes folks. There is simply no sense in getting double-teamed this year by visiting one of these places as well.