Why City Buses Kick School Buses’ Butts: A Commentary On Mass Transit In America From A First-Grader’s Perspective



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Unfortunately (or some would say fortunately) T’s mom and I are divorced, however our time with T is divided evenly, resulting in him spending every other weekend with me. Saturdays and Sundays can drag on quite a bit with him being trapped inside an apartment all day with only me to entertain him, as entertaining as I might be to a six year old child. It is often one of my biggest challenges every other weekend to find activities to entertain him. During one weekend sometime last year, an idea came upon me to let T experience the joy and wonderment of our city’s public transportation system, secretly in an attempt to just kill a few hours. In my hometown, public bus riding is not the regular occurrence it is in larger metropolitan areas where a portion of bus riders are professional men and women who simply want to avoid the stress of bumper to bumper traffic, and parking garages that are seriously depleted of available parking spaces. In my home town, the public transportation option is by and large reserved for those individuals of lower socioeconomic status who often cannot afford their own vehicles (those of you from my home town who are going to shower me with a cascade of boos and hisses for what you perceive as a stereotypical comment, can shut your dirty pie holes because you have evidently not come out of your ivory towers to actually experience riding a bus in our fare city, otherwise you would know that my comment is 90% accurate). Those of you who are out of town readers now have an explanation for that gasp of horror you hear coming from local home town readers who can’t believe I would chose to put my son and I in the position of carousing about town for several hours with the dregs of our local community (there, now you can all boo and hiss at me for making an intentionally inflammatory and degrading statement). Since that first ride over a year ago, we have spent several weekend days gallivanting about town on the city bus. What has actually amazed me is that T is always the one to bring up this activity. Initially, I did not really understand the attraction. Given the fact that he rides his school bus five days a week from his school to his after school program, I was simply puzzled by his affinity for the city bus. It was finally today, after he asked yet again to go for a ride on the city bus, that I attempted to put myself in the mindset of a first grade child (in maturational measurements, this was not much of a regression for me), and the whole love of the city bus became clear when it was viewed in comparison with his school bus. Sure, there is the fact that it is “something different” but I believe it is more than that. Although there are probably many more examples, the following are some of the major reasons why first grade children (or at least my first-grade child) like city buses so darn much:

 

#1 The differences are immediately noticeable as soon as the city bus stops at your curbside location. What small child is not enthralled with the hydraulic system that lowers the door of the bus to your level, negating the need to clamber inside like the high sitting school bus.  The city bus instead treats you like miniature royalty making your entrance as easy and painless as possible.

#2 Then there is the fee required. To the first grade child, any commoner can simply get on a school bus free of charge, but to ride in the upper echelons of motor coaches one must fork over some serious coinage (mind you, six quarters seems like a king’s ransom to a six year old).

#3 The next little slice of heaven comes in the form of seat selection. The ever developing elementary school mind comes to grips with the reality that they are not going to be seated by the bus driver in an act of totalitarian, iron-fisted rule, but instead they are going to be allowed to chose from a myriad of seating options. Sit on the side facing out the opposite window. Sure thing. Sit “traditional style” facing out the front window. Whatever your little heart desires. Even standing up, the ultimate taboo on the school bus, can be broken in what seems to be the Sodom and Gomorra of mass transportation. “Would I like to sit in the front today? Yes, yes I would. You know, I would like to move to an available seat in the back at the next stop. And I can, because I am the king!”

#4 What, I ask you, is one of the elementary school child’s favorite modes of transportation? That’s right, the good ol’ bicycle. There is no way the school is going to let you bring your greasy bicycle on board, but the shear giddiness exhibited by a child is immeasurable when they find out the city bus has a rack specifically attached to the front to transport their glorious two wheeled metal friend.

#5 The city bus offers a sense of absolute freedom that simply can’t be matched by the school bus. Judging on number of routes alone, the city bus offers a cornucopia of possible options that absolutely destroys the number of routes offered by any one school. Further, the child is not allowed to ride any school bus of their choosing so they can experience something different from their day to day grind. Bus #2 means you are on bus #2. You don’t just walk over and decide you are going to ride bus #7 today. The city bus, however, has no such restrictive practices, thereby opening up the greater metropolitan area for our little traveler’s exploration. (I know, a child is somewhat limited by what their parents will tolerate, but I allow my child to pick which bus route he wants to ride, thereby giving him the greatest sense of freedom).

#6 So much of a child’s life is beyond their control, including the stopping points along a school buses route. There is no choice in the matter. The bus driver stops at each point with absolutely no input from any of the sad little faces aboard. While the city bus does have definite stops, not all “stops” are necessarily stopped at, and what the elementary school-aged child soon gravitates towards is the all consuming power of the cord. From the perspective of these pint-sized power mongers, all it takes is one gentle tug, a red light flickers to life and the driver must obey their silent command. For the child, the power reversal between adult (not to mention an adult bus driver who normally has ultimate control over them on a school bus) and child results in an intoxicating blend of control and vengeance.

#7 The city bus is an opportunity to become acquainted with new and interesting individuals. Day after day, the child rides the school bus with the same children, and talking of only the latest and greatest toys and cartoons becomes tiresome from time to time. The child’s longing for varied experiences can be met by riding on the city bus and hearing a cacophony of those “special” adult-only words, and provides and opportunity to eavesdrop on great conversations like, “I am gonna whoop my kid's ass if he did not do his homework”, “I got so f'd up on meth last night” and “I told my boyfriend if he wanted to put it in there, he could go see a hooker.”

Ah, seeing things from the mindset of a young child has actually been quite an eye-opening experience. I think I may just stay here for a while.